Coffee Clash
by Jelsemium
Summary: Don't mess with Jo's coffee. She's grumpy in the morning.
1. Coffee

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Coffee Clash

Chapter 1

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by Jill Weber/ Jelsemium  


It was uncomfortably cold when Jo pried her eyes open and looked around. Her surroundings were more familiar to her than her sleeping quarters. She was on a cot in the Big Guy's Maintenance Pit. She sighed, it had been a long night of repairs and she never did get around to eating. At least she was scheduled for a day off today, assuming that nothing went wrong that would need her particular expertise to fix.

She hauled her watch out of her pocket and squinted at it. The luminescent dial read 06:00. Wow, a decent hour, will wonders never cease? She shoved the watch back and forced herself into a sitting position. Suddenly, a white Styrofoam cup appeared before her eyes. Jo looked up at Garth's smiling face. 

"Wow, breakfast in bed," Jo muttered as she took the cup. "What's the occasion?"

Garth just grinned. "Oh, you'll see in a minute," he assured her. Then he walked off, chuckling.

Jo assumed this meant that she was going to spend her 'day off' fixing something. Oh, joy. She took a sip from her coffee when she noticed something floating in it. She squinted. Something small, cylindrical, brown and flaky was in her cup. It looked an awful lot like... 

"MOUSE TURDS!!" was the printable part of Jo's reaction. 

Dwayne and Mack jerked around when Jo shrieked and choked. Garth just looked innocent. Mack and Dwayne looked at Garth, who shrugged. 

"What's wrong?" Mack asked walking towards Jo.

Jo futilely wiped at the front of her formerly white tank top. "That FREAKIN' IDIOT put MOUSE TURDS in my coffee!" she sputtered.

Dwayne raised an eyebrow. 

"I did not!" Garth protested. "It's just some cinnamon."

Mack was kneeling next to the mess on the floor with a rag in his hand. "Cinnamon carefully pressed into the shape of mouse turds, I see," he commented at he wiped up the spill.

"Well, Jo was complaining that our coffee was too boring..." Garth said. "So were you," he added, with a significant look at the coffee cup in Dwayne's hand. 

Dwayne looked down at the Diedrich's coffee cup in his hand. Since he was limited to the amount of coffee he could drink per day, he wanted it to be GOOD coffee. (Diuretics and being cooped up in Big Guy's cockpit all day were NOT a happy combination.) Fortunately, there were many good coffee joints not too far from the Darkhorse's berth.

"Mouse turds weren't exactly what I had in mind to spice things up," Dwayne said.

"Aw, can't you take a joke?" Garth said.  
  
"No, but I suspect that you will, soon," Dwayne replied dryly as Jo stormed past them, cussing and wiping at her shirt front. 

"Have a nice day off!" Garth said cheerfully as she passed.

"Garth, kiss my burrito!" Jo growled over her shoulder.

Dwayne just shook his head. Garth was going to pay for that trick, he thought. The responsible chief mechanic part of him thought that he should do something to stop it. The coffee-loving part of him knew that Garth had to be punished for messing with Jo's coffee.


	2. And Doughnuts

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Coffee Clash

Chapter 2

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by Jill Weber/ Jelsemium  


Jo was cleaned up and dressed in jeans and a turtleneck before she remembered that her leather motorcycle jacket… with the keys to her Harley Davidson Fatboy… were still in the Pit. She snarled to herself. If she went back, Garth and Mack would get on her case for leaving it there in the first place. Right now, she wasn't sure she could take any more guff from Garth. At least, not until she got back at him for those 'mouse turds.'

She sighed. She'd just have to hoof it for now. She walked off the gang plank and headed into town. There were several good eating places within a few minutes walking and she decided to have breakfast while she cooled down. "Do I want something healthy?" she muttered. "Nah, what I want is a Krispy Kreme donut!"

She arrived at the shop to find the 'Hot Doughnuts Now' light on and a line wrapped around the parking lot. Feeling more cheerful, she got in line. Automatically, she checked to see if she had enough money to get something for the guys, too. Then she frowned. Garth didn't DESERVE a Krispy Kreme donut, the kreep! Er, creep! But then, Dwayne and Mack DID deserve Krispy Kreme donuts. Heck, Dwayne deserved two! Or more! 

She contemplated her choices as she waited. She could get something for Dwayne and Mack, but what if Slate was there when she got back? Can't leave the Doc out just because Garth was a booger. She could just get plain donuts for them and a jelly donut for herself. Dwayne and Mack didn't care, but Garth loved jelly donuts almost as much as she did. Suddenly an idea came to her mind and she began to grin.

The other people in line noticed her grin.

The employees at the New Tronic Krispy Kreme store were surprised at how thin the crowd was that morning.

***

Dwayne looked wistfully at his empty coffee cup. But he'd had his limit, so he tried to keep from even thinking about having any more. Fortunately, he had a distraction at hand in the form of Dr. Erika Slate. The scientist had come up with an upgrade to Big Guy's forehead. The men were sitting around a table littered with coffee cups as Slate pointed out the improvements in the laser's design.

All looked up at a discreet cough.

"Forget something?" Mack said, without the archness that would have accompanied the question if Jo hadn't been carrying a bag of donuts.

"Yeah, my jacket… and my bike keys. Donut, anybody?" Jo asked, holding up the Krispy Kreme bag. There was a bag sitting on top of it, and she set that on the table, first. "Doc?"

"Well," Slate looked wistfully at the donut bag. "I really have to watch my weight."

"You can split one with Lt. Hunter," Jo said. 

Dwayne raised an eyebrow. "I only get half a donut?" he asked.

"No, *you* get two," Jo said. "Two and a half, if Slate decides to split one with you."

"Thanks," Dwayne said as Jo deftly scooped two donuts from the bag and put them on a paper towel in front of him.

Jo handed a donut to Slate. "Just tear it in half if you don't want the whole thing," she advised.

"Thank you," Slate asked. She savored the aroma. "This smells so good," she added.

Jo handed two donuts to Mack. "And two for you, even if you don't deserve them," she added.

"You're too good to me," Mack drawled.

"I know," Jo replied, with a faint smirk.

Garth eyed her ironically. "Let me guess, none for me," he said.

Jo put an exaggerated look of shock on her face. "Why, GARTH! Why EVER would you think such a thing! I brought an EXTRA SPECIAL donut JUST FOR YOU!" and she put a Krispy Kreme jelly donut on the table in front of him. Then she grinned the same grin that had thinned out the line at the doughnut shop. "You DESERVE this donut," she purred. "Trust me."

Slate gave her a questioning look. Mack and Dwayne eyed the ceiling as if they expected the morning paper to suddenly appear up there. Jo ignored the byplay as she unpacked the coffee from the bag. She put a cup in front of each of the guys and hesitated. "Um, sorry, Doc…" she said apologetically. 

Dwayne almost volunteered his coffee. Since Jo knew he was limited to only one cup, he knew she wouldn't be offended.

Slate cut him off before he could speak. "That's okay," she said. "I've already had my coffee this morning."

"Ah, good," Jo said. She picked up the bag of donuts and her coffee and stepped away from the table.

Garth stared wistfully at the Krispy Kreme jelly donut sitting in front of him. He loved Krispy Kreme jelly donuts, but this one was sure to be sabotaged somehow. "Um, Lieutenant?" he said. 

Slate nibbled at her donut as she tried to figure out Jo's behavior.

Dwayne swallowed a bite of donut and shook his head. "Don't look at me for a handout, Garth," he said. "*I'M* not the one who sabotaged Jo's coffee this morning."

That explained a lot to Slate. She is, after all, a rocket scientist (among other things).

Garth sipped his coffee cautiously as he contemplated the booby trapped jelly donut. "Um, Mack?"

"I ain't sharin' my donuts," Mack said possessively.

"And don't even think about asking Slate," Dwayne said. "I don't want her to get involved in any clashes between the Pit Crew."

Slate was relieved, as she was already more than half finished with her donut.

Garth sighed as they went back to examining the blueprints for the new forehead laser. There was nothing wrong with his coffee, so it had to be the donut that was sabotaged. He knew Jo too well to expect the prank of this morning had been forgiven just yet.

Jo wandered back and looked at the schematics. "Sweet," she said. "You want me to stick around and help with this, Lieutenant?"

Dwayne shook his head. "Nah, you could use a break, Jo. Go have some fun."

Jo nodded. "Thanks." She looked curiously at Garth. "You gonna eat that?" she asked, gesturing to the donut.

Garth gave her a 'You've got to be kidding' look. "No, thanks," he said. 

"Your loss," Jo replied. She picked up the donut and bit into it. Then she walked off with a blissful look on her face.

Garth made a face himself, but it wasn't blissful.

Dwayne and Mack burst out laughing. 

"Looks like she used your paranoia against you," Mack chortled. 

"Looks like," Garth grumped. He looked at his empty coffee cup in disgust. Then he looked wistfully at Dwayne's. Apparently Jo hadn't realized that Dwayne had already had his cup of coffee this morning.

Dwayne shoved it over. "Here," he said. "I've had my quota for today." 

"Thanks," Garth said and took a swallow.

Jo stepped back and interposed the empty donut bag between the others and Garth's spit take.

Dwayne, Mack and Slate jumped up in alarm.

"What's wrong?" Slate asked.

"Guess Tabasco sauce doesn't go in coffee," Jo drawled. 

Obviously, Jo HAD noticed that Dwayne had had his quota this morning.

Annoyed, Garth grabbed the jelly donut from Jo's hand and took a big bite… Then he covered his mouth and went running for the sink.

Dwayne raised an eyebrow at her. "What did you do to it?" he asked.

"Not a thing," Jo said smugly. "It's not MY fault he doesn't like lemon jelly doughnuts."

"The horror," Mack said mockingly.

"Revenge is sweet?" Slate asked the grinning Jo.

"You got it!" And Jo walked off laughing.


End file.
